EDIT: This is totally fake, but hilarious anyway. Enjoy!

No Apple for you! A request from Steve Jobs to Sean Connery to use his likeness in an iMac ad in 1998 went horribly wrong…

Here’s my transcript of the reply:

December 11, 1998

Mr. Stephen P. Jobs
c/o Apple Computers
1 Infinite Loop
Cupertino, California

Mr. Jobs:

I will say this one more time. You do understand English, don’t you? I do not sell my soul for Apple or any other company. I have no interest in “changing the world” as you suggest. You have nothing that I need or want. You are a computer salesman - I am fucking JAMES BOND!

I can think of no quicker way to destroy my career than to appear in one of your crass adverts. Please do not contact me again.

Best,

Sean Connery

SC: tw